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Instead of dating most Japanese people spend their time in small groups. Japanese people do not think about marriage until their mid-twenties. In the past parents would select the husband or wife, but now most young people pick their husband or wife or hire a matchmaker. The Japanese belong to groups because it gives them a sense of security. They often put the rights of the group before their own. They believe that harmony must maintain and try to avoid conformation. The Japanese retain the bond of family thorough out life, they also go farther in making bonds at school, work and clubs. Some advantages to having groups are loyalty, and group leaders don’t bully or make fun of their team. Some disadvantages are that some groups don’t cooperate well with other groups.

The rules are very clear; the only questions to ask are: "where is it?" and "how do I get there?" Guest lists and seating is done by importance in the community (good seats up front). So, the groom's boss is first followed by a favorite teacher.. and then way in the back are the parents (after colleagues and friends). The priest (Shinto) goes through the ceremony (but all very secretive) and then onto the reception--which is managed by the hired professionals (hired by the hotel/hall of the party). There are no speeches and guests do not mingle between tables and keep only to what their discussion is at their table. And instead of gifts, guests give money in little envelopes (made just for weddings). Eventually, the Japanese believe love comes into the relationship within the married couple (within the next few years).

Weddings in Japan are very expensive. The groom’s parents pay for the wedding because the bride’s parents are giving their daughter to them. In most weddings only the family members can attend. There are four main parts to a Japanese wedding. The first part of a Japanese Wedding is the most important part, getting registered as a married couple. This is called "seki o ireru," the day you get registered as a married couple, is the day of your wedding anniversary.